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I am Loud

by Mt. Seaside

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1.
And your lips are sealed with anger while my hands make up excuses Trying to cover everything I'd never thought would make a difference But my words are suffocating in this self-obsessed head of mine I feel all your frustration and wishing the two of us had never met I long for a vacation, going anywhere we'd like You could get a tan or we could live by night Wake up on a shoreline dazed from too much wine Feel the waves crash into you and whisper something kind We won't get back You said we're not getting better This is as good as it gets We can't get back It's gone too far to turn around Don’t think I'll live to see this down But I'm staying awake at night You beat me at the starting line It's funny how two people change The life and death of everything I know you're sick of dealing with my unreasonable doubt I've tried so hard ignoring it but I just can't get it out of my head You said I got something about me that people seem to love But you were all these qualities, without them I'm just numb And all the things we used to do together hurt do alone We did everything so I'm doing nothing at all Trying to carry on I'm stuck inside my head I hate the things I used to love You're the best I've ever had We won't get back You said we're not getting better This is as good as it gets We can't get back It's gone too far to turn around Don’t think I'll live to see this down But I'm staying awake at night You beat me at the starting line I am losing all my self esteem I'm a ghost in old, black skinny jeans I'm nothing more than a high school crush Love so hard and then break it off It's funny how two people change The life and death of everything
2.
It's Not 03:56
Daydreamer Daydreaming of how we’d meet Sleepwalker I’m somewhere in between Stay there, I’m coming soon I got lots to tell you But will you listen? I still feel your hands stroking on the back of my neck And your voice rings like a gunshot through the lobe of my brain I’m a broken piece of puzzle and it’s all for you Can you take a look around and tell me what I should do? I’ve spoken to your mom she said it doesn’t add up I’m doing everything I can, but tell me is it enough? No, it’s not Sing softly Whisper in my ear I’m listening What a fucking year I feel shorter, my height’s declined Sloping at the shoulders I’m losing on the frontline I still feel your hands stroking on the back of my neck And your voice rings like a gunshot through the lobe of my brain I’m a broken piece of puzzle and it’s all for you Can you take a look around and tell me what I should do? I’ve spoken to your mom she said it doesn’t add up I’m doing everything I can, but tell me is it enough? No, I’m burning midnight oil, I’m a grinding machine Please just come on home, the place is still warm and clean I can’t move another muscle, I can’t figure it out You leaving prematurely, wonder what that’s about At night, the waves crash my hair into seaweed Filling the mouths, spilling from the words of all Great, brave men And in this death I am loud I still feel your hands stroking on the back of my neck And your voice rings like a gunshot through the lobe of my brain I’m a broken piece of puzzle and it’s all for you Can you take a look around and tell me what I should do? I’ve spoken to your mom she said it doesn’t add up I’m doing everything I can, but tell me is it enough? No, it’s not No, it’s not No, it’s not

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released October 16, 2020

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Mt. Seaside Örebro, Sweden

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